I’m not trying to brag but Jason and I truly are an endless source of entertainment at times, and we manage to do this without even trying. I swear we need our own reality TV show with cameras following us around. I think the response of the average viewer would be something along the lines of “are these people really that stupid? Is this really their life?” as they watched us deal with rocks and attempt to mow the grass.
On Saturday Jason was mowing our yard (third mowing of the year). Jason likes mowing the yard even though he tries to pretend that he doesn’t. Now he does hate edging and weed whacking but he seems to go into a zen-like state on the lawn mower. I was scrubbing a water trough in one of the pastures when I noticed the lawn mower wasn’t moving anymore. I didn’t really pay too much attention and went back to my scrubbing.
Then I noticed the truck backing up to the lawn mower. This got my full attention. I was done scrubbing the trough and put the hose in to start filling it with water and paid closer attention to what Jason was doing. He put the truck in position near the mower, then he got out and started attaching a tow rope to the lawn mower and the truck. Then I saw him lugging a large piece of scrap lumber to the lawn mower. I asked about this later and he said he was using the lumber to make sure the mower stayed in neutral. Then he proceeds to tow the lawn mower up onto the driveway with the truck. He unhooks everything and goes back to mowing.
Apparently Jason was trying to avoid getting the push mower out and was attempting to use the riding mower in an area normally reserved for the push mower. Clearly this did not work out very well. It was a real shame that I did not have my camera with me to get pictures of Jason towing the lawn mower.
Watching that made me remember another incident we had that involved towing a lawn mower. When Jason and I were first married we lived in Vermont for a year. When I announced I was never doing another New England winter Jason readily agreed to move back to Tennessee. One of the things we did not move from Vermont to Tennessee was our riding lawn mower. It had died and obviously we didn’t want to have to ship it back to Tennessee. Our neighbor decided he wanted it as he thought he could repair it.
Just like yesterday Jason hooked up a tow rope from the riding lawn mower to the truck. He told me to drive the truck and tow him the half mile down the road to our neighbor’s house on the riding mower. We make it out of the driveway and I’m towing Jason along on the dead riding lawn mower, driving very slowly. Jason screams at me to go faster, that I’m going too slow and this is taking too long. I step on the gas. We all pick up speed. Except now we’re on a downhill slope.
Of course I slow down but this does not slow Jason and the riding lawn mower down. He manages to steer the dead mower around the truck to avoid hitting it. He goes whizzing past me on the dead mower at about 20mph. As Jason passed me on the lawnmower our eyes met for a fraction of a second that felt like forever. Jason was looking at me with a “HELP ME” expression. I was looking at him with “what the heck do you expect me to do??” expression.
At that moment the tow rope snaps. Jason is now flying down the hill on the road on the dead mower attempting to steer it. He’s screaming “oh bleeeeeeeep” as the mower whips down the hill. I had stopped the truck and blocked the road with it to deter any traffic that might come along. I remember watching Jason on the runaway mower, listening to him yell, and I will admit I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. I’m laughing now just remembering the scene. You have to admit this is funny, and I’m telling you it was much funnier in person.
At last Jason hits another uphill slope. The mower slows and finally stops. We re-hook up the tow rope and Jason screams at me not to drive so fast this time. I decided not to point out that he was the one who told me to go faster. It was obvious even to me it was the wrong time to make that observation. Jason and the mower were safely towed into the neighbor’s driveway.
We would have won America’s Funniest Home Videos if we had managed to get that little incident captured on video. Yes, this really is our life.