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Danger Zone

You just never know how and why you will get hurt when working around horses Jason. Yesterday afternoon I was in about the safest place I *thought* I could possibly be on the farm. I was nowhere near a horse. In fact I wasn’t even in a pasture. There was no tractor, bushhog, sprayer, lawnmower or other piece of equipment running that could potentially run over or into me.


I was minding my own business rinsing out feedbags. What could possibly happen to you when you are bent over rinsing out feedbags with no horse, equipment or even a person withing 40 feet of you? It was just me and the hose and some empty feedbags. Jason was standing in the pasture with the big boys waiting for the last few horses to finish eating while I was rinsing the feedbags.


So there I was rinsing out feedbags when suddenly WHAM, two flying objects slam into my face and arm and literally knock me over backwards. About a millisecond before I hit the ground I hear Jason yelling “WATCH OUT!!” (For future reference it would be ever so helpful Jason if you could give me a warning before you pummel me in the head with flying objects, not after. I’m just saying . . . )


As I laid on the (wet, muddy) ground seeing stars Jason came sprinting out of the pasture yelling “are you ok? ARE YOU OK?”


Instead of answering him immediately I looked around dizzily trying to assess what had just happened. I mean, one second I’m standing there rinsing out feedbags and the next minute I’m knocked out on the ground. My arm and face were covered in mud by whatever flying objects had just hit me. I see the culprits are two wet, muddy feedbags that Jason had decided to throw at me with everything he had because it would have taken too much effort to walk them over to me.


A few minutes earlier he had attempted to throw a couple of feedbags to me to rinse out and had failed miserably. They didn’t make it within 15 feet of where I was. Apparently the dummy my sweet, loving husband decided that THIS TIME they were going to make it no matter what and put everything he had into throwing them at me.


As Jason said after he finished asking “are you ok? ARE YOU OK?” he says “I never thought they would even make it to you. Then they went up in the air and started rotating and picked up all this momentum, and they were just flying, and then I realized they were flying straight at your head and they were going to hit you really hard.”


Me: Why didn’t you give me some warning once you realized this?


Jason: I did, didn’t you hear me?


Me: Yes, I heard you yell “watch out” after the flying objects hit me.


Jason: I was too shocked to say anything for a second when I realized what was going to happen.


And then, as if Jason hadn’t already contributed enough to this entire situation, he announced to me “I think I’m going to be sick” and walked away to go lean against the truck.


I stood there holding the side of my head in intense pain, as one does after getting walloped in the head, while Jason walked away because he felt sick. Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up.


As I type this, still with a headache over 24 hours later, I think it is safe to say that working around Jason is a hazardous occupation. This incident comes after my last run-in with the Jason danger zone when he ran over my foot with the lawnmower a couple of weeks ago. He told me he wanted to show me something, then he specifically instructed me to walk behind the lawnmower. As I followed his instructions he proceeded to put our lawnmower that weighs a ton in reverse and run over my foot. Incidentally he ran over my left foot so now he has beat up on the left side literally from head to toe. I have officially declared working around Jason to be a Danger Zone.


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Bruno and Duesy




Johnny, Sebastian, Africa and Sam


Rocky and Largo


Lotus and Faune


Miracle, Timbit and Griselle


Gus and Asterik


Silver and Cocomo


Grand and Elfin




Homer and Moe




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